Am I successful? No, I cannot be.

A new and bold perspective on the meaning of "Success"

“I” can never be successful.

And “I” can never be a failure. 

Read it again.

We, as individuals and as human beings, can not be successful or can not, not be successful.

I’ve been thinking about the topic of success lately, as it came up in a few conversations and also in my readings. I reflected on it, asking myself the question several times, “am I successful?” The answers varied at different times and in different contexts. 

I did a google search to find out more. Several definitions came up. I read through many of those and some did resonate with me. Several articles also came up, many with a singular message that we must define success for ourselves. And I love those messages too.

But still, I wasn’t content with the answers. 

What is success? 

I opened my journal to find out, as now I’ve realized that the most profound answers to such questions often come to me through my writing. And I received a beautiful and profound answer in the form of a poem, which I’ll share in another post. But as I relentlessly demanded an answer to this question, I also had an epiphany.

This question, “Am I successful?”, is not the right question at all.

“I” can’t be successful. Just as “I” can’t be a failure.

Activities and tasks are meant to succeed or fail. How can we determine whether a “life” is successful or not? And probably a better question to ponder upon is, how did we reach at this point to be even thinking about success or failure as a living being, as a precious life on this planet? Saying this aloud and writing this sounds so ridiculous to me now!

Think about it. 

Lifelong societal conditioning, competition and comparisons have brought us to the point that we use statements like “I’m successful”, “I’m not successful”, “you are successful”, “he is not successful” and call ourselves success or failure. And it’s not just using such statements, it’s the immense pain, suffering, agony, anxiety, pride or worry that is associated with these beliefs. 

Eckhart Tolle wrote in his widely famous book “The Power of Now”, 

“….you get your sense of who you are from things that ultimately have nothing to do with who you are: your social role, possessions, external appearance, successes and failures, belief systems, and so on.”

The bigger problem is not just these beliefs about success and failure, and not just the pain and pride associated with them, but gradually, we start informing our own sense of identity and those of others around us, based on these beliefs.

So the point is, we can succeed or fail at certain tasks or activities. Such as:

“I successfully completed college” or “I did not complete college successfully”

“I succeeded at getting the job” or “I did not succeed at getting that job opportunity”

“I succeeded in making a million dollars” or “I failed at my business and did not make a million dollars”

But none of these activities or any other activity can determine if “I” am successful or not. Because “I” can not be successful, just like “I” can not not be successful. 

“I” is not an activity or a task.

This life is not an activity or a task.

We’ve been using this sentence in a ridiculously incorrect way. And it’s such a shame that it has become such a strong belief pattern with a majority of us. Unconsciously, we are also passing this on to our children and the younger generation.

The invitation

I invite you today to reflect on this. Reflect on how you’ve been using this belief and what you have made it to mean for yourself. Question this belief and all associated thought patterns today. Are they true?

And deliberately and intentionally, stop using such statements in your conversations and even stop these thoughts in your mind. 

“You” are a precious, unique, and special life on this perfectly designed planet, with a purpose and a meaning. 

“You” are much much more than you can ever comprehend and what others can ever tell you.

Have a miraculous day!!!

In gratitude,

Namrita Negi