Shit happens. Question is what do you do next?
Apologies for the grossness, but it makes a point!
Shit happened. What next? You have two options -
1. Pick it up and throw it on others and yourself
2. Get the cleaning supplies and help clean it
Literally, we wouldn’t even consider option one. But metaphorically, that’s exactly what many of us do, making things unpleasant for ourselves and those around us.
Life is messy sometimes. We all face difficult times. No one has a free pass to skip that. Sometimes we have to deal with our own mess, and sometimes, it’s someone else’s. Sometimes we deal with it individually, sometimes as a family, sometimes as work teams, sometimes even as a nation, collectively. But how we deal with it - what actions we take, what words we say - determine our character, build who we become, and even make or break our relationships.
One thing is always true - no matter what happens, we always have these 2 choices - spread the mess or clean it up.
Here’s how I’ve seen this play out in my life:
I had a fight or an argument with my loved one. If I bring up some situations from 10 years ago or blame them and say things like you did this, you did that, then I’m spreading the mess. If I take responsibility, apologize for the mistakes I made, and help sort out the issue, I’m cleaning up.
A project became chaotic or messy at work. If I point my fingers and blame my team members or other people, I’m spreading the mess. If I collaborate with everyone to figure out a solution for the problem, I’m cleaning up.
I faced a difficult health issue. If I spend my time simply thinking and worrying about what happened, why it happened, then I’m literally drowning myself in it. If I take charge of getting the care and treatment I need and making lifestyle changes, whether food, sleep, exercise or de-stress, then I’m cleaning it up.
The Space Between
There’s a space between “sorting of the mess” and “getting back to normal life/routine”. We usually move on too quickly without spending sufficient time to reflect and learn. Use this space. Reflect on what happened - what did you learn? how can you be better prepared next time? what or who helped you? Express gratitude, learn, and make a plan. And then move on and get back on track.
The invitation
If you’re facing a challenge right now, ask yourself: Are you spreading the mess by blaming and criticizing? Or are you helping to clean it up by collaborating, forgiving, apologizing, thanking, and focusing on solutions?
Have a miraculous day!
With love and gratitude,
Namrita
An attitude or reaction we all experience. Thank you for shedding light on the topic. The space prompts us to see within ourselves - the cause behind throwing the shit on ourselves and others. Because once we reflect on the cause with deep love and acceptance, we start taking steps to heal and change towards cleaning up the mess:-)